Why Your Emotions Are Not the Problem

I see a lot of memes and social media posts that blame other people’s negativity for their emotional instability. Other people’s behaviors and vibes are not the problem. Your emotions are not the problem. There are two things going on here.

  1. Your inability to manage emotions.
  2. Choosing situations that upset you.

It might sounds strange to talk about this on a forum that is about spirituality, but everything is connected. Hear me out.

Having emotions is a part of life. I’d even go so far as to say that they are a joyful and expressive part of life that make it all worthwhile. So, having emotions isn’t a problem, but allowing them to destabilize you could be.┬áIf you can’t manage your emotions, you’re not able to be an effective Sovereign. You can’t rule yourself, your environment, or take care of your responsibilities if your emotions threaten your stability.

Managing emotions is a skill that everyone can learn. If you are having meltdowns that interfere with your ability to work, relate, get out of bed, or function, you probably could use some skills. If you are reaching for a coping strategy whenever you feel something, you’re still not quite there. It’s okay to feel. Pushing things down is a way of avoiding the present moment. It’s not always optimal to feel what you are feeling in the moment, so sometimes we have to do this, but I wouldn’t make a habit of it. I see many people who have done this so often and so well that they can’t feel. We are what we rehearse. If you want a full life, you need feelings.

If you frequently feel upset, fearful, or angry, this could be a sign that your situation is not in harmony with your values, goals, or desires. There are two ways to deal with this. You can either change your situation, values, goals, desires, or thoughts about it. For example, let’s say that I find myself angry with my neighbor for parking in my parking spot. I can change my situation by having a talk with my neighbor, moving, talking to my leasing office about it, or getting there first. I can let go of ownership of that parking space and park somewhere else cheerfully. I can focus on my desire to live in harmony with my neighbor and decide it’s not all that important. There are many other things that will address the feeling of trespass indicated by the anger that are also valid.

The anger is just an alert that tells me something is out of balance. Squashing my anger won’t create harmony. Blowing up about it won’t fix it either. Turning off the alert doesn’t repair the issue either. The emotions are not the problem. In fact, focusing on the emotion keeps you from dealing with the real issue.

If you are uncomfortable with emotions, you may try to shut down other people’s emotions either by harassing them to “stop being so emotional” or by “comforting” them. If this is you, try witnessing instead. This is far more effective. It gives the person space to be authentic and move at their own pace. It teaches you to do the same when it’s your turn to feel.

If you find yourself struggling with emotions, remember that Sovereigns rule best when they can manage their emotions. Being emotionally out of control can negatively impact our ability to create connection. It definitely interferes with our ability to feel Oneness. So, cultivating emotional mastery is a part of spirituality. Emotions (Water element) need to be in balance with Air, Fire, and Earth. When one dominates, everything becomes unbalanced.

Posted in connection, sovereignty, spirituality.