By far the most common question that I’m asked is “Do I have a soul mate?” You will get a different answer depending upon who you ask. My response is based on my experience as a past life regressionist and animist.
In my work, about 50% of people come in because they have questions about their soul mates. This idea of soul mates started with Plato. He said that initially when people were created, they had both male and female parts. Then people angered the gods. The gods punished them by splitting them in two. From that time on, we roam about the world looking for our other half. It’s a romantic story that has never gone away.
My professional observation is that we actually have tons of soul mates.
A soul mate is not your one true love. It’s not your other half. It is someone that you have contracted with in the spirit realm to come here to be with you again to help you learn and grow.
Everybody has things to accomplish and learn in life. Our soul mates are here to help with the significant ones. They have a stake in it too, and they are here to learn something as well.
Our soul mates can be a lover, friend, mother, next-door neighbor, or a teacher. It could be anybody because these people come in and out of our lives. So it’s not necessarily somebody this you’re going to spend your life with.
So let’s think about this. Let’s say you really need to learn forgiveness, for example. So in the life planning stage you and I make a pact to do that together. Now we know that this means someone is going to get hurt because how else would forgiveness come into play except through pain?
Yet, we agree to do this because we love each other. Who else but a soul mate would do this for us?
If you think about all the greatest things we learn in life, they don’t usually come easily or through great experiences, do they? They usually happen through horrible, painful experiences.
On the flip side of that, the person who does the hurtful thing also benefits in some way. Maybe that person needs to find his backbone. Maybe he didn’t have the best boundaries or didn’t speak up for himself. Maybe he felt backed in a corner. Going through this experience could be the thing that helps him to see that he’s got some growing to do too.
There are no victims in life. Everyone has choices. Everyone is a player in everyone else’s life. Nobody gets out without hurting others or experiencing pain. Those who love us tend to be the ones who hurt us the most. It doesn’t mean there is no love.
Now some people do have instant attraction. This is seen as a hallmark of the soul mate relationship. But did you know that soul mates can also have an instant revulsion? Any strong emotion without cause can be related to soul memories.
Soul mates are not destined to be together forever. They could be in your life for five minutes! They stay as long as they need to stay for both of you to have a chance to heal the wounds of the past. You can choose to stay longer, but it’s not guaranteed.
Perhaps it’s even healthiest if you break the bond. For example, let’s say that a soul mate pair has a destructive habit of harming each other. This time around one of them decides to leave rather than engage in that hurt. Isn’t that the healthier choice?
So the next time you catch yourself in a relationship that wring the emotion out of you, pause and ask yourself, “What am I meant to learn from this?” This person could be your soul mate.