Whew! Was that some equinox! I want to share a bit about my equinox experience so that people who are new to modern animism can see how living in the wheel of life might show up for them. When you know what to look for, it can be easier to spot how you are already doing it so that you can do it consciously.
Pisces Full Moon
The energy of the equinox lasts for more than just one day. It’s actually about a two week window of liminal space. Liminal spaces are doorways of potential. They are spaces that are not quite this or that. They are potentially dangerous and transformative. Nothing represents that better than the Pisces full moon. This is when my equinox adventure started.
The symbol for pisces are two fishes swimming in opposite directions who are bound by a cord. They are the Yin and Yang. They are wholeness, like the equinox. We say we want balance and wholeness, but it’s not a great place to stand. It’s both big and small, in and out, is and is not all at the same time. People want boundaries and compartmentalization, not this fluid madness.
My Pisces full moon kicked off in confusion when someone said I should align my chakras by doing qigong. They are two different disciplines. I could see how they are both ways of looking at the energy body, but they approach wholeness from two different systems that are complete within themselves, not something that you take some from here and some from there. After struggling with that for a couple of days, I decided to take a “yes and no” approach to this.
Balance of Elements
The wheel of life contains Earth, Air, Fire, and Water. I spent the equinox in Cornwall where the sun (Fire) was shining in the sky (Air) and the waves (Water) pounded the shore (Earth). It was a perfect representation of wholeness.
Doesn’t the beach just fill you with peace? This felt like the “pretty” face of wholeness. Unfortunately, most of the time it was uncomfortable.
It’s All Good
I spent the equinox with a some people who were really connected to themselves and the space around them. And then there were those who weren’t. It was not easy to maintain healthy boundaries when I was so tempted to go into fix-it mode. Most of the time I was able to witness, but sometimes I fell into complaining and feeling exasperated. Then ultimately, I came to the realization that it’s all good. Nobody is in a great, awakened, healthy state all the time. It’s fine to be whomever you are, wherever you, whenever you are.
I was on a pilgrimage to sacred sites during the equinox. Most of the sites were hidden and neglected. They felt sleepy and depleted. There were so few visitors, and those who came took without giving. This brought home the idea of reciprocity and giving as much as I take. When this isn’t balanced, things can and do become weakened, unbalanced, and lose their vibrancy.
I realized that I had been giving more than I have been receiving and, like the fall season, it was time to retreat and rebuild.
The Ugly is Beautiful
We traveled to a place I have always loved. Yet it didn’t look so lovely when I got there. Better marketing and the hunger for spiritual tourism brought lots of traffic, big crowds, noise, and many things I came here to escape. The weather was nasty. And I discovered that I had mistaken natural beauty for painted beauty. It initially diminished it in my eyes.
Then I woke up and saw that everything that I loved was still there. This was just another side of it. In my “in-loveness” I just was focusing on the things I liked. What I thought of as ugly wasn’t ugly. It was the backdrop that allowed the beauty to stand out. Without contrast, beauty cannot exist.
Libra New Moon
The equinox concludes with the Libra new moon. The symbol for Libra is the scales. It wants things to balance. It does this largely though relationships.
This tour wasn’t easy at all. There were lots of challenges, but one thing kept thing kept standing out- relationships. How do I stand in these many realms? What’s my relationship with Nature, people, animals, weather, time, space? How can I move in this web in a way that creates harmony? What is this experience reflecting back to me? The Libra new moon keeps asking me to seek balance. It’s asking me how is my delusion self delusion and being out of harmony with what is.
What’s the Take Away?
Expansion was the first take away. Clearly I needed to expand the way I view the world to be able to include contradictions and more “and” vs. “or.”
Perspective is another one. If we believe that everything is one, then that includes all the stuff we’d rather not have in our lives. “Bad” lives alongside “good.” Whether something is wrong or not depends on where you are standing, and everything has a positive side.
When it’s time to let go, let go. When a thing lasts beyond its time, it becomes a burden, not a joy. Everything ends.
These are the types of things that Nature reflected back to me. This is what I mean when I say “Nature is your teacher.” She’s always giving us feedback. All we have to do is pay attention, enjoy the moment, or self correct. Nothing is “wrong.” Some of life is more pleasant and desirable, but nothing is ever wrong.
When the equinox squeezes you, pay attention to what comes out. This is showing you what’s inside. If it hurts, it’s because you’re not in a place of acceptance. All that means is you’re still growing. So grow.