Celebrating Father’s Day When Your Dad Isn’t The Greatest Guy
Today is Father’s Day. Some of us are making joyous memories with our families. Some of us are trying to forget the wounds of our childhood and wishing we had different fathers. So how do you celebrate Father’s Day if your dad isn’t the greatest guy? Well, if you want to transform your past, read on. I will tell you how embracing the holistic spirituality of animism can do just that.
There is a reason why the Jewish god felt so strongly about honoring our parents that he made it a commandment. Asians, Africans, Polynesians, Native Americans, and other animist people also practice ancestor reverence – even today. Why? It’s because of Oneness.
Your people live within you. Their strengths are your strengths. Their trials are your trials. When they do something that hurts you, it’s their way of living out their fears and traumas. Think about where they came from.
In America, our settlers came here fleeing religious and political persecution, starvation, oppression, genocide, and war. Some were exiled as punishment for their crimes. Others were brought here as captives during the slave trade. This country is awash in fear. It shows up in our grasping for money, property, resources, love, sex, food, attention, and excitement. It shows up as violence, rape, addiction, and mental illness. That’s not just cultural. It’s ancestral.
Unfortunately, if you turn your back on your not-so-nice father, you turn your back on healing your ancestral line. If you don’t take responsibility for what’s happened, who will? If you don’t do something to change the dynamic, that energy will continue to live on through your children and their children.
In many cases, we’ve lived thousands of years without the proper tending of our ancestors. In animist societies, dis-ease is generally addressed as they arise. When people die unresolved, we engage in burial rituals that help the dead navigate the no man’s land between dying and crossing over so that they can serve as ancestors.
That isn’t happening now. So, the dead aren’t becoming ancestors. They are hungry ghosts. These hungry ghosts leave the shadow of their wounds within our ancestral line so that all who are born after them pick up their drama. So, your choice now is about one thing. Am I going to do the dirty work of cleaning this up, or will I leave it for someone else?
Maya Angelou said, “When you know better, you do better.” Now you know.
If your father isn’t the greatest guy, you can do the most wonderful thing for him by cleaning up your ancestral line. It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t believe in all the hoo doo, woo woo. What you clear in yourself ripples forward and backward in time. If he wants the healing for himself, all he has to do is accept it.
The implications of this truly go around the world. I have read that most Asians have Genghis Khan as an ancestor and most English people have Charlemagne as an ancestor. So imagine what could happen if a wound that started with one of those guys was cleansed and removed. Literally millions of people’s lives would change. This is how important ancestral tending is.
So, let me say this again explicitly. If someone doesn’t die in a healthy way and cross over, their wounds could impact millions of people.
I know some of you are sitting there with your arms crossed saying, “My father doesn’t deserve it.” Healing and forgiveness isn’t for him. It’s for you.
“Forgiveness” means to forego. So it’s about foregoing your need for justice, punishment, fairness, or making him pay. I understand the need for an apology or revenge. Don’t let this desire stand in the way of your wholeness. You can’t be whole when your father, who is a part of you, is standing in darkness.
So, are you ready to heal this wound? You can start by honoring your living people. This doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with them. It just means that you release any negative emotion towards them. Forgive.
You can also begin to practice ancestor reverence. Your entire family line isn’t corrupted – even if it may seem like it. There are spirits there who want to help you. Get in touch with them. Ask for their help. Learn how to tend them. We all have resources beyond our wildest imaginings if we just reach out and ask for it.
If you want to learn more, check out the Pan Society blog, youtube channel, podcast, and Facebook group. Ask questions. That’s what we are here for. We want to heal the world, and we need your help. There’s been enough suffering. Isn’t it time to end it? Let’s do this together.
If you need additional help, we also have a mentoring program at www.Pansociety.org. Please join us.